“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” — Douglas Adams · The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, 1979
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.” — Franklin P. Jones · widely attributed
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” — Fred Allen · widely attributed
“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?” — Ernest Hemingway · widely attributed
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin · widely attributed
“If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.” — Mark Twain · widely attributed to Twain