“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen · widely attributed
This observation finds the quiet irony in one of the more thankless virtues: being on time. The joke is that punctuality, by its very nature, places you somewhere before anyone else has arrived, which means there is no audience for your effort. The reward for doing the right thing is an empty room and no recognition. It gently pokes fun at the idea that good behavior always goes noticed or appreciated, suggesting that sometimes virtue is its own invisible punishment.
The line is widely attributed to Franklin P. Jones, though pinning down a precise source is difficult since he was a writer whose work appeared largely in periodicals and short-form publications rather than a single well-known book. His humor tended to find the small absurdities hidden inside ordinary social situations, and this observation is a good example of that approach. It takes something everyone has experienced, arriving somewhere early and standing alone, and reframes it as a philosophical paradox wrapped in a punchline.
Franklin P. Jones was an American writer and humorist who contributed witty observations and short pieces to various publications during the twentieth century. He was not a major literary figure in the traditional sense but earned a lasting reputation for the kind of compact, clever one-liner that travels well across decades. Many of his best-known lines deal with everyday frustrations and social dynamics, delivered with a light touch that makes the underlying cynicism go down easily. His quotes continue to be shared and enjoyed long after his own era.
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen · widely attributed
“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?”
Ernest Hemingway · widely attributed
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”
Benjamin Franklin · widely attributed
“Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights.”
Bob Marley · Get Up, Stand Up, 1973
“If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.”
Mark Twain · widely attributed to Twain
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde · The Happy Prince and Other Tales, 1888
“I'm always late on principle, my principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.”
Oscar Wilde · The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1890
“The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.”
Jean Kerr · Please Don't Eat the Daisies, 1957
“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.”
Robert Benchley · Chips off the Old Benchley, 1949
“I am not a morning person. Then again, I'm not really an afternoon or evening person either.”
Garfield · Jim Davis, Garfield comic strip
“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.”
Robert Orben · widely attributed
“I have always been a quarter of an hour before my time, and it has made a man of me.”
Horatio Nelson · attributed