“If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”
Margaret Thatcher · 1965 speech
Category
Humor Quotes
132 quotes on humor and wit — from the classics to the everyday.
quolira
quolira.com
“Well-behaved women seldom make history.”
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich · 1976 article on Puritan funeral sermons
“A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.”
Oscar Wilde · The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1890
“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”
Lily Tomlin
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
Anne Lamott
“How do you know I'm mad? said Alice. You must be, said the Cat, or you wouldn't have come here.”
The Cheshire Cat · Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, 1865
“It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.”
Alice · Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, 1951 Disney film line often attributed to the story
“If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.”
The Duchess · Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, 1865
“Begin at the beginning, and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
The King of Hearts · Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, 1865
“Curiouser and curiouser!”
Alice · Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, 1865
“We're all mad here.”
The Cheshire Cat · Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, 1865
“Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.”
Satchel Paige
“My feet ain't got nothing to do with my nerves.”
Satchel Paige
“I never rush myself. See, they can't start the game without me.”
Satchel Paige
“If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.”
Satchel Paige · from his rules for staying young
“Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood.”
Satchel Paige · from his rules for staying young
