“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.”
Robert Orben · widely attributed
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Humor Quotes
114 quotes on humor and wit — from the classics to the everyday.
“I have always been a quarter of an hour before my time, and it has made a man of me.”
Horatio Nelson · attributed
“It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.”
John Steinbeck · On Writing, attributed
“I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.”
Blaise Pascal · Lettres provinciales, 1657
“The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret.”
Charles Caleb Colton · Lacon, 1820
“I don't like mornings. They start too early.”
Groucho Marx · widely attributed
“I have a dream that one day I will wake up and feel rested.”
Groucho Marx · widely attributed
“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
Benjamin Franklin · Poor Richard's Almanack, 1735
“I never knew a man who was good at making excuses who was good at anything else.”
Benjamin Franklin · Poor Richard's Almanack, attributed
“Sleep is good, he said, and books are better.”
George R.R. Martin · A Clash of Kings, 1998
“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
Fran Lebowitz · The Fran Lebowitz Reader, 1994
“People think I'm joking all the time. Sometimes I am. Sometimes I'm not.”
Oliver Tree
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
Mae West
“I've actually not read any books on time management.”
Elon Musk · Reddit AMA, 2015
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the classroom.”
Robert Frost
“A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.”
Robert Frost
“The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.”
Voltaire · Sept Discours en Vers sur l'Homme, 1738
