“To define is to limit.”
Oscar Wilde · The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1890
The line draws an ironic equivalence between two things society usually treats as opposites: a passing whim and an enduring devotion. The only real distinction, it suggests, is duration, and even that difference is mocked by the word "little." This collapses the romantic idea that true passion is fundamentally different in kind from mere fancy. The observation is both funny and quietly bleak, implying that what we call lasting love may simply be a caprice that has not yet run its course.
The novel in which this line appears is preoccupied with desire, beauty, and the way people deceive themselves about their own motivations. Its characters pursue pleasures and passions while dressing those pursuits in the language of depth and permanence. Wilde was writing within and against a culture that placed enormous value on sincerity and lasting commitment, particularly in matters of love and marriage, and he enjoyed puncturing that seriousness with observations that exposed the arbitrary nature of such distinctions.
Oscar Wilde was an Irish writer who became famous in Victorian London for his plays, his novel, his criticism, and his public persona. He had a remarkable ability to compress complex and sometimes uncomfortable ideas into short, memorable formulations that sounded like jokes but carried genuine philosophical weight. His work consistently questioned the social and moral categories his contemporaries took for granted. After a period of imprisonment and subsequent exile, he died in Paris in 1900, and he is now regarded as one of the most important and quotable writers in the English language.
“To define is to limit.”
Oscar Wilde · The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1890
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves.”
Oscar Wilde · The Ballad of Reading Gaol, 1898
“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.”
Oscar Wilde · The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1890
“I can resist everything except temptation.”
Oscar Wilde · Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892
“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”
Oscar Wilde · The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1890
“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove.”
William Shakespeare · Sonnet 116, c. 1609
“You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”
Oscar Wilde
“Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be.”
Anton Chekhov
“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
Louisa May Alcott · Little Women, 1868
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
Joan Crawford
“We are most alive when we are in love.”
John Updike
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
Aristotle